I called in sick today. I had a terrible fever this morning, which was a real bummer considering that my dream was very very beautiful.
With a full day of rain and fever, I was stuck watching TV which made me recover very fast, if I may say. Most of its wondrous dose came from reruns of season two episodes of House. Last night, as I came home very early for a Monday, I chanced upon Failure To Communicate at AXN; it’s in my top ten favorite episodes of House, in all 86 of it so far. It’s where House and Stacy were stuck in Baltimore due to a hailstorm; they were there to settle House’s mediocre hospital prescription billings with Medicaid. It was where the kiss happened, after Stacy’s metaphorical take on her and House’s relationship:
Stacy: Our relationship is like an addiction. It’s like…
House: Really good drugs?
Stacy: No, it’s like…vindaloo curry.
House: Ok, sure.
Stacy: Really, really hot Indian curry they make with red chili peppers.
House: I know what it is! Didn’t think it was addictive.
Stacy: You’re abrasive and annoying and come on way too strong, like… vindaloo curry. When you’re crazy about curry, that’s fine, but no matter how much you love curry, you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. And then you never want to see curry for a really, really long time but you wake up one day and you think… God, I really miss curry.
I guess I have mentioned that the only time I got disoriented from my Huddy (House and Cuddy, yeah) mode was when Stacy was around. The difference though is that I’ve always seen Stacy as House’s the one who got away. I like cheering them on, even if I really detest illicit affairs. House and Stacy’s may be the only extra-marital affair I would have wanted to fluorish, both in TV and in real life. With House and Cuddy, as I said, bringing them together, as in a couple, would start the end of their wonderful screen relationship.
Anyway,the episode’s patient of the week (POTW) also put in a point in what could be a hurtful but nonetheless existing fact in a relationship. POTW has bipolar disorder which he hid from his wife . Because he’s so in love, he feared that it would make her leave him if she finds out. But nothing goes undiscovered and their relationship went downhill from there, especially since the wife found it out from House, as he was callously narrating it. That’s already saying something to House and Stacy trying, even if it’s rationally against their will, to be together again. On some level they might have figured it out but the lure of their passion for each other got the better off them:
House: He (POTW) loved her enough to convince himself he could change.
Stacy: But he couldn’t, could he? [She gets the stub of her ticket back from the person at the desk and is about to walk through when she turns around to see House again] You know what Woody Allen said about relationships? “Irrational and crazy, but we go through it all because–
House: –we need the curry.
This is one of the many unfortunate situations I find myself into when April arrives.
It didn’t help that during the weekend, I watched a movie and a DVD of an English sitcom that enforced the feeling instead of distracting it.
“A guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken.” The doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, but I guess we keep goin’ through it because most of us… need the eggs. “
– Alvy Singer in Annie Hall
Anyway, in the next episode, which aired just as I was having my “soup for the sick” lunch, House and Stacy had sex, Stacy couldn’t bring herself to tell her husband about staying with House (to which he says, “It’s not easy. But it’s simple.”), House saw how much Stacy’s husband wanted to work on their relationship, and finally, he decided to refuse Stacy’s decision to stay behind with him. He told her, “How do you think this is gonna end? We’ll be happy for, what, a few weeks, few months? And then I’ll say something insensitive, or I’ll start ignoring you. And at first it’ll be okay. It’s just House being House. And then at some point, you will need something more. You’ll need someone who can give you something I can’t.”
Wow. House just summarized my perpetual fear, if you care to scroll three posts down. I really love this guy, haha.
But even if I adore the Stacy arc in House, if you ask me now what hits me the most among all the wonderful quotes in this series, it would still be what Cameron said to House back in season 1. See, I’ve burdened myself with this since last year:
I seldom listen to the I will keep this to myself thought. So, and partly because the Judie-reader-regardless-of-the-distance-between-us has figured it out, I have to say that there was a point last month when I was tempted to say this Dr. Cameron line to someone. Good thing I took a bath and I shook it off me.
I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone. I was wrong.
You just couldn’t love me. It’s okay. I’m happy for you.
There. Although love is too strong a word. I would substitute it with like.
I am crazy to relate the goings-on in my head and in my heart to a TV show but can you blame me? The parallels are too hard to ignore. You can say that my life is TV melodrama. I won’t be offended, I promise. See, this is the farthest I can go in terms of relating this chunk of my life. It is a beautiful thing that I’m too scared to bare in its true form, so I hide it in analogies and paralles with movies and shows. And hey, at least you know something. He doesn’t. My curry doesn’t.